Proverbs 17:19

He loves transgression who loves strife, and he that exalts his gate seeks destruction. 

Some people get a thrill out of launching an incendiary comment into a conversation, and others are more than happy to return another tirade of words, loaded with more angry, less-than-edifying sentiments. Somebody lights the fire, and somebody else throws gasoline on it. This happens in conversations between husbands and wives in the kitchen, in many academic debates, and within the endless Internet blogs and comment strings. All of these exchanges are unedifying because there is no real interest in seeing a brother edified. Winning arguments is everything for these people, but nobody is really edified or persuaded in the process. They glory in the fight, the volcanic emotions, and their own performance in the debate. The root of this contentious spirit is ultimately pride, and that is what is addressed in the second half of the verse.

The thirst for power becomes intoxicating for some people, and when this quest for power becomes endemic throughout entire societies, the results are catastrophic. Power centralizes, and the masses are enslaved. This has certainly been the legacy of modern countries since the turn of the 20###sup/sup### century. In fact, governments are five to ten times more powerful than they were one-hundred years ago. The thirst for more power draws both the socialist democrats and the capitalist republicans with equal force. Each attempts to collect more power to further their own interests. But it is always more power that they seek. Inevitably, this power-chase and the centralization of power and money effect a breakdown of morality, a corruption of the nuclear family, and the eventual collapse of healthy economies.

Proverbs 17:20

He that has a froward heart finds no good: and he that has a perverse tongue falls into mischief.

If the heart is the boat motor and the tongue is the rudder, then the heart and the tongue together will take the boat wherever it is going to go. Will the boat chug up the river or meander down a tributary and drop over a waterfall? The motor and the rudder will determine its course.

This being the case, you can see how important it is for parents to train the heart and the tongue by patient teaching in the Word. And if a “teenager” be cursed with a rebellious heart and an uncontrolled tongue, you know the choices that young person makes may very well destroy his or her life.

Proverbs 17:21

He that begets a fool does it to his sorrow; and the father of a fool has no joy. 

Within the same family, you can often find one son who is honorable, teachable, and God-fearing, and another son who turns out to be a rebellious, drunken fool. Certainly we find these sorts of families in Scripture, from Cain and Abel to Absalom and Solomon. How does one explain this strange occurrence? There is, of course, the matter of training a child in the way he should go. But there is also the sovereign hand of God working, for we read in Scripture that before Jacob and Esau were capable of good and evil, God preferred one over the other (Rom. 9:10ff). We find that human responsibility and God’s sovereignty are both elements in the development of a child’s character.

This verse merely describes the curse upon a family when a son turns out to be a fool. Suppose a child who is playing the fool should hear this verse read in family devotions. Do you think that he might take fair warning from such a passage and think to himself, “Would to God that I turn from the way of rebellion! Why should I bring shame down upon my poor father?” Or is the fool so bound in his foolishness and self-centeredness that such notions are meaningless to him?

Proverbs 17:22

A merry heart does good like a medicine: but a broken spirit dries the bones. 

There are 100,000 theories running around about what it takes to live a long and healthy life. Because of the millions of possible interactions between various causes and effects, it is utterly impossible to determine which snake oil, diet, or lifestyle choices could produce the highest probabilities for good health. Generally, smoking is unhealthy, but some smokers live into their 100s. What were the things they did that counteracted the negative effects of smoking? Again, there is no certain way to find these things out. It is just too difficult to control lifelong experiments on human beings. Therefore, we are left with debates over every American Medical Association hypothesis, alternative health plan, and old wives’ tales that issue from the experts of the hour. We find that some approaches to diet and bodily maintenance may work better for some people than for others. Yet even then we cannot draw these conclusions with very much confidence. There will always be a measure of guesswork.

Nevertheless, there are some universal principles related to health that come to us by divine wisdom, and they ought to overshadow all of the billions of man-made theories that proliferate everywhere. Verse 13 provides one of these principles.

Family Discussion Questions: 

1. Do you enjoy arguing and debating with others? At what point does a healthy discussion or debate turn into strife?

2. Are we a proud family, interested only in our own power and success? How might we mitigate this kind of pride?

3. Why is the rebel content to see his parents utterly devastated and ruined by his rebellion?

4. What is God’s theory on physical health and well-being?