Scripture Reading:

Proverbs 15:1-2

Proverbs 15:1

A soft answer turns away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. 

Everybody in a home knows when somebody is getting irritated. Doors slam. Voices rise. Exaggerated accusations are leveled against other members of the household. Whatever the case, it’s usually pretty clear when someone is getting a little warm under the collar. If the peace of the home is to be retained, the other parties simply cannot take the bait or join the chorus of angry voices. For
some reason, irritation breeds more irritation and accusations invite more accusations. If left unchecked, these altercations can devolve into terrible chaos in the home, not to mention the unraveling of relationships.

Rather than taking the bait and falling into the stormy waves of contention, those who are confronted with an irritated member of the family should respond with a soft answer. Generally, the soft answer derails potential conflict from the get-go. It is extremely difficult to return the soft answer. This does not come naturally for us and it does require a great deal of practice, prayer, and self-control to pull it off. But if we will have peace in our homes, we must begin with that simple step.

Now comes the warning: “Grievous words stir up anger.” These are the words proceeding from a heart of irritation, discontentment, and ungratefulness—a heart not content to submit itself to the will of God. This angry spirit can spread like the measles—a very contagious disease. Irritation breeds more irritation. When the spirit of irritation arises with us, it may be best to remove ourselves from the company of others. First we confess our sin to God. We identify the spirit of discontentment for what it is—a refusal to accept God’s sovereign
control over our situation in life.

So a peaceful home is made up of people who are willing to put a lid on all grievous words before they give vent. In the case of the first system failing with one person, we must rely on the others in the home to respond with soft answers. Only when both systems fail do we see a home turn into a seething cauldron of contention.

Proverbs 15:2

The tongue of the wise uses knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools pours out foolishness. 

As the saying goes, “So and so knows enough to be dangerous.” This can be said of the fool, because he does not use knowledge rightly. He uses knowledge to destructive ends. As long as universities and schools abandon the foundation of knowledge (the fear of God), be assured the effects will be destructive and dangerous to the health of the nation. Increasingly, their technology is used to counterproductive ends, and to destroy life as in the case of abortifacients, weapons of mass destruction, and strange genetic engineering applications.
The masses use technology to isolate themselves, for escapism, and diversion, instead of for productive ends. The universities tend towards the breakdown of society, politically, socially, economically, and ecclesiastically. A failure to acknowledge God in education will produce people who are quite knowledgeable, but they use that knowledge to destructive ends in the media, culture, politics, churches and schools.

A truly wise man will make good and wise use of the knowledge God gives him. He speaks to the benefit of others. But it is important here to define the word “benefit.” In the ultimate sense, only a transcendent God could ever define what is good for mankind. We know that God would have men living according to His law, and He wants their priorities set according to His priorities.

When the secular media discovers a story about a movie star who commits adultery against his wife, they talk about it as if they are glorying in the shame of it. Regrettably, some will exploit the shame of others to glorify themselves. In some cases, these stories serve to render justification for those who just want to continue reveling in their own moral dissipation. Nobody is really edified by these accounts. There is no desire to seek the kingdom of God and His righteousness, no fear of the judgment of God, and no focus on those things which are truly honest, pure, honorable, virtuous, and of good report (Phil. 4:8).

Family Discussion Questions:

1. Suppose that somebody in the home is irritated because something is lost or broken. Harsh words are spoken. Give several examples of how you might respond with a soft answer.

2. How often do we speak with wisdom to the edification of our listeners? Are we careful with how we handle the things that we learn? Using the illustration included in the commentary for verse two above, how would you address the matter of a movie star who committed adultery against his wife? Is there any edifying context in which you might convey this information?