Proverbs 20:5

Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water; but a man of understanding will draw it out.

The best gems are usually the hardest to obtain. You won’t find them lying on the surface of the ground. Yet these precious stones are valuable and highly desirable, so men will invest great amounts of capital and time to dig them out. How much more valuable, then, are the gems of wisdom? To properly discern the challenges we face in life and the biblical solutions that we must bring to them is the secret to success in life. If we desire to be successful at leading our families, establishing godly churches, and running successful businesses, we must apply sound wisdom. But where do we get good wisdom? How do we make proper assessments of problems—whether it is behavioral problems in people or technical issues in our dominion work? Certainly, it would be convenient to diagnose every problem with some little manual, complete with a nice comprehensive index! But life is far more complicated than that, and every situation requires its own analysis and the careful application of wisdom.

Most of the time, the kind of wisdom that we need is hidden deep in the minds of others. In fact, these folks may not even be aware that they have the wisdom needed for the present challenges facing the family or the church. So first, we must acknowledge that others have wisdom that we do not have. It is for us to dig. However, as it turns out, those who have the most wisdom are also the ones who are “swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger!” (Jas. 1:19). As the old saying goes, “Still waters run deep,” and these folks are not always overly munificent with their wisdom. So a man of understanding will seek to dig deeper into that man’s well of knowledge by thoughtful, creative questions. Asking questions of others is one of the most powerful ways to draw knowledge from the deep wells accessible to us!

Proverbs 20:6

Most men will proclaim everyone his own goodness: but a faithful man who can find?

It is rare to find a man who honestly thinks himself an unfaithful, disloyal, miserable wretch! As a matter of fact, most people think that they make pretty decent friends. When conflicts occur in relationships, it is rather uncommon for either of the parties to consider themselves as the truly self-centered, treacherous party in the melee. Truth be told, the vast majority of people in this world make for pretty lousy friends. They are easily embittered against their own brothers and sisters, husbands and wives. They offend others and are painfully slow to confess those sins. This is the sad state of relationships in a fallen world. But as the Spirit of God begins to move in the hearts of those who have been visited by the steadfast, die-hard covenantal love of God Himself, things begin to change. Eventually, you will find friends who are willing to go to the mat for you. You find friends who would die for you because they had a Friend Who once died for them!

Family Discussion Questions:

1. Do you look at other people as virtual wells of knowledge from which you might draw something good and helpful? What sorts of questions might you ask in order to draw something out of somebody?

2. What is the state of relationships in our world? Is divorce common in our communities? Do we cultivate long-term, die-hard friendships? Are you a faithful friend?